Back to  Mind  |  Body  |  Spirit

by | Sep 28, 2021 | Mindset & Positivity


Hello Lovely Lady


If you are interested in becoming an optimist, then this article is for you. In this post, let’s discuss 12 Inspiring Ways you can stop being a Pessimist and why becoming an Optimist will have huge benefits for your life.


The Chains Of Pessimism Bind You

Although you may not realize it at the time, being in a constant state of pessimism binds you to a life that will never be fulfilling and happy. I know this because it was happening to me.

Change concept-Silhouette of bird flying and broken chains at beautiful sunset

Think about it…how can you reach your true potential if you are always seeing the negative side of things. It will prevent you from achieving and growing, making you feel that there’s no point in trying anything new or making any plans.

Giving in to a pessimistic state-of-mind leaves you frozen in time, unable to progress and in many ways, doomed to watch your life pass by without any magic or joy.

It’s important that you break these chains and take control.


Why Be An Optimist Vs A Pessimist?

You can tell that a person is an optimist or a pessimist by two things:

1. The way they talk about events that have happened in their life

2. The way they write about these events

An optimist is confident that all of the positive events they have experienced are down to their abilities and the actions that they took.

The way that an optimist will describe a negative event is that it is just temporary and that they learned from it and moved on.

Conversely, a pessimist will explain a positive event in their life as fortunate because they have no belief in their ability. For negative events, this is the norm for them and proof that the world is against them.


What Is Optimism?

Most people have heard of optimism but not everyone is clear on what it really is.

Never believe that you need to be born an optimist in order to be one. This is total nonsense!

You can become an optimist at any time during your life despite your background. It just takes a decision by you to embrace optimism and banish your pessimistic outlook.

Optimism is defined as the understanding that good things are likely to happen in the future and that there is good in every situation. This is based on the belief that there is good in people, while pessimism is based on the belief that people are generally bad.

Optimism is a state of mind and it’s possible for anyone to develop an optimistic mindset at any time.

When you are an optimist, you will see any setback in your life as an opportunity for you to learn and grow as a person.


Benefits Of Optimism:

* You will be a positive thinker leading to reduced stress, anxiety and depression.

* Optimistic people see the silver lining in every circumstance, leading to better outcomes.

* They are generally. more upbeat and engaging, which can improve relationships with family and friends.

* Optimistic people generally perceive life as more fun.

* They are confident in their abilities and plan ahead to create a bright future for themselves.

* Optimists tend to be a lot happier than pessimistic people.


Traits of an Optimist

Maybe you think that you are already an optimist? It is important that you understand the common traits of an optimist so that you can develop the same traits.

Here are some of the common traits that you need to develop:

• A positive feeling about the future
• An expectation that good things will happen
• A belief that you will succeed in life
• The belief that any challenge is an opportunity for learning and growth
• The past can be a useful reference but the future is what’s important.


An optimist surrounds themselves with like-minded people because optimism is inspiring and contagious!

Group of mature optimistic women friends laughing together

An optimistic doesn’t let any issue, whether it is large or small, dent their enthusiasm for life.

When an optimist sets goals, they expect to be faced with some tough challenges. These help the optimist move out of their comfort zone and grow as an individual.


Health Benefits of Optimism

• Lower stress levels
• Less likely to experience anxiety or depression
• Tend to be healthier overall
• Better state of mind, even when things get tough
• Longer lifespan
• Recovery from any illness is greatly improved

So now we know why being an optimist is better, let’s look at how to stop being a pessimist:


12 Inspiring Ways To Stop Being A Pessimist

The first step that you need to take to transition to optimism is to stop being a pessimist.

Pessimism it totally understandable under the current pandemic circumstances. None of us were prepared for how life-changing this would be.

So, this is a classic example of where optimism is going to benefit your state-of-mind. Giving into pessimism about the pandemic only makes you feel like crap and doesn’t solve the problem.

Better to decide that this virus isn’t going to get ‘under your skin’ (sorry for the pun)…but it’s good to see the irony in life sometimes.


1. Identify Your Insecurities

There may be some deep reasons for pessimism.

The most likely one is that you are attempting to hide some personal insecurities. You’re not alone…we all have them.

You should try everything you can to rise above them, because staying in a state of constant insecurity is like being stressed all the time…it’s really unhealthy!

The first step is to identify what the problems are. Write them down. Pull them apart.

Ask yourself :

* Why they are an issue?
* Do they date back to my childhood?
* Are they rational…does it make sense to let them control me?
* Are they related to a phobia?
* Are they life-threatening?
* Are they holding me back in life?

Then decide on what would be the best way to help yourself overcome them. This will take a plan and maybe some effort.

Some insecurities are deep-rooted and may need some therapy to overcome them. Talking to someone who doesn’t know you can really help get to the bottom of them without any judgement.

If you think, “no…I’m not going to open myself up to someone”.

Consider this…

Do you want to live with your insecurities forever, allowing them to always hold you back?…no, of course not!

So, making a decision to be optimistic is the best way to begin dealing with your issues. Take control rather than them controlling you.

It sounds hard but it’s very doable.


2. Tackle Your Irrational Fears

We all have irrational fears, but pessimists seem to have more than most. If you want to be an optimist, then it’s critical that you tackle the irrational fears that are holding you back.

The most effective way to do this is to confront them head on. No more hiding under the blanket!

3 scared dogs hiding under blanket with just noses visible

Over the years you will have strengthened your irrational fears by acting on them, so it won’t be easy to overcome them. But, once again it’s doable. It just needs your determination.

Like insecurities, irrational fears don’t always make sense.

They can be related to a phobia or something that happened in your childhood, and they may have shaped the person you have become.

The first step will be to identify them. Look deep into your past because they will be there. (related post)

Realize that they are in the past, and that they can’t hurt you now. If they can, then you really need to fix them.

Remember, you are in control of YOU. It’s your life and you can CHOOSE to live it on your terms.

When you do confront your irrational fears and overcome them, it will give you a huge boost in much-needed self-confidence and will be life-changing!


3. Accept That You Have Flaws

Nobody is perfect and optimists accept this.

Their level of self-worth is always high even though they are aware of some flaws in their character or physical body. They will accept these flaws and work on them if they are important.

We all have flaws so just accept this and move on with your life…don’t dwell.

Of course, some of your flaws may be preventing you from becoming an optimist and you definitely need to do something about these. Dealing with these is self-growth and leads to a sense of confidence and self-worth.


4. Change from Rigid Thinking to Flexible Thinking

Being pessimistic often means you are rigid in your thinking. You believe that you can either do something or you can’t and that there are no other possibilities.

Pessimists tend to focus on these ‘impossibilities’ and this holds you back.

Learning how to have flexible thinking means you will always believe that there is another way. If you can’t do something right now, then you can change this with persistence and time.

Flexible thinking will allow you to see other possibilities. And open up a whole new way of seeing and living your life.


5. Decide Not To Be Controlled By Others

***Ok, this is a biggie***

Worrying about what other people think about them is a common trait for pessimists. They are afraid to do anything new just in case someone disapproves of what they are doing.

This can be and often is, related to some event in your past…maybe your childhood.

Maybe a disapproving parent, teacher or maybe you were bullied as a kid. These are very real reasons and I’m not playing them down.

They can have a lasting effect will into adulthood and be difficult to overcome emotionally.

Teenage Girl Being Bullied At School By Older Grl

But, once again…are you going to let them define your whole future no matter how confronting it may be to deal with them? You don’t want it hanging over you forever…otherwise the bully is still winning!

Remember…this is YOUR life. Time to take back control!

An optimist will take responsibility for their own life and will not care what other people think. If you have this problem then you need to change your thinking here.

It’s worth remembering that most people are far too busy to concern themselves with what you are doing.

When someone does state an opinion, you don’t have to accept this as fact and most of the time it won’t be true anyway. It will say more about the other person’s view on life than yours.

I have realized that one great thing about being older is that I no longer give-a-shit about what others think and it’s totally liberating. Try it!


6. Reduce Your Exposure To Negativity

Pessimists will thrive on negativity. When you want to change to be an optimist then you need to reduce your exposure to negativity as much as you can.

This includes people and things that are negative. It won’t be possible for you to totally avoid negativity altogether but reducing it as much as you can needs to be your aim.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying about staying away from ‘toxic people’. Sadly, there are plenty of them and you don’t need them in your life…get rid of them.

Also, totally liberating!

Social media is a haven for negativity so reduce the amount of time that you spend on it. It doesn’t matter if you are not connected all of the time.

Missing some meaningless notifications will be a blessing.


7. Neutralize Negative Thoughts

Even the most optimistic of people can experience negative thoughts from time to time. Get into the habit of always neutralizing a negative thought with a positive one.

As you progress with this, you will find that you experience fewer negative thoughts on a daily basis.

‘Why did that happen to me?’

Instead think:
‘That happened to me for a reason, let’s see what the reason is’  OR  ‘What can I learn from this?’


8. Identify What You Want Then Focus On Achieving It

A pessimist has no idea what they really want from their life. As a result, they are controlled by life and just drift along aimlessly.

If you want to be an optimist, then you need to take the time and effort to identify what you want and then focus your attention on this.

Text over photo of road in forest - Don't Look Back - You're Not Going That Way

Most people have no clue what they want because it takes effort to think about this. It’s much easier to sit in front of the TV watching meaningless junk or while away the hours doing pointless things on social media.

Life can be short…you need to make the most of it!

I’m not suggesting it’s because something happens to you…nothing so negative. I’m suggesting that life passes by quickly.

But you already know this right?

When we were kids, Christmas and birthdays took forever to come around. Now, we can’t believe how fast it’s that time again!

You need to commit it to Living with Intention. To finding out what you want and setting goals to achieve this, so you don’t look back when you’re 80 and feeling you’ve wasted the past 20-30 years.

This is particularly common after your kids have grown up and left the nest. Yes, you may have grandkids, but you still have a lot of life to live…make some plans!


9. Move Away From Your Comfort Zone

One of the main reasons that there are so many pessimists is because they do not want to venture outside of their comfort zone. They usually aren’t willing to take on new challenges.

This is understandable. It’s much easier to stick with the status-quo.

Optimists are happy to move away from their comfort zones because they see this as a way to grow as an individual. They don’t want to settle for more of the same day after day.

Look to break out of your comfort zone by doing as many new things as you can, and revel in the challenge.


10. Express Gratitude

Pessimists tend to focus on the things that they don’t have in their lives. They are always wanting something new and are not satisfied until they get it.

Being an Optimist means you are grateful for what you have and know that expressing gratitude will result in further abundance.

Take a look around you and express your gratitude for the people and the things that you have in your life right now. Even though there is a lot to be upset, depressed and angry about in the world, there are also truly wonderful aspects to life.

Focus on these and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you see life differently. While you are focusing on this you will not be worrying about your future or the mistakes that you made in the past.


11. Start and Maintain a Journal

There are numerous benefits from having a journal and it’s fun!

Anything can serve as a journal for you as long as you can write in it regularly. A simple notebook is all that you need to get started.

Beautiful Muslim Woman In Pink Hijab Writing In Journal

Or you can go ‘the whole hog’ and get a super-duper one with colored pencils and get really creative!

Indulge yourself and enjoy the experience. Having a journal where you can record your journey to optimism, and more is definitely beneficial.

When you start your journal be sure to write your goals, and include your WHY statement and your plans in it. It is also important that you use your journal to record the things that you are grateful for in your life.

Each day, write down 3 things you are grateful for and why.

I also recommend that you record any setbacks in your journal and what you did to overcome them.

Record all of your daily tasks in your journal that you need to complete to achieve your goals and make a commitment to review your journal periodically to see just how far you have progressed.


12. Daily Rituals For Increased Optimism

The things that you do every day will define you. In time, something that you repeat each day becomes a habit.

Your aim here is to develop habits that will empower you to be more optimistic. It is going to take time for you to implement new and empowering habits in your life.

The best way to achieve this is to do the same things each day for at least 21 days continuously. Your subconscious mind will pick up on this and realize that you are serious about forming a new habit.

Don’t try to implement too many new daily rituals at once.

You can start with a small number and add to this as each becomes a habit that you do on autopilot.

I recommend that you create a morning ritual where you do certain things every morning. Other rituals can take place whenever it suits you.


Try This Morning Optimism Ritual

There are four things that I recommend for your morning optimism ritual to help you get the best possible start to each day.


1. Read your positive affirmations.

You can read your affirmations more than once each day, but it is essential that you do this at least once in the morning.


2. Set challenging goals for yourself.

So first thing in the morning is a very good time for you to read your goals, your emotional drivers and your WHY statement.

This will light a fire under you to complete your tasks for the day and move closer to achieving your goals.


3. Visualize your best self and success with your goals.

Once you learn how to visualize, you will only need a few minutes of this to really inspire you. Visualization is a very powerful technique so make good use of it.


4. Engage in some gentle exercise.

This will help to get your blood circulating and your heart pumping. A healthy body is a healthy mind.

You can perform any exercise that you like here. It doesn’t need to be a full workout – just enough to get things moving.



In this post I wanted to explain the difference between being an optimist or a pessimist.

Optimism is all about having a positive outlook on life. An optimist will be confident about their future because they will have set goals and worked hard to achieve what they want.

Because optimists are confident in their own abilities and tend to be a lot happier than pessimists I want to empower you to achieve this state-of-mind, and take back control over your life.

Aiming for this in life, no matter what has happened in the past will provide you with huge benefits, not the least of which will be better mental and physical health, self-confidence and happiness.

I really hope you enjoyed this post and that you found it useful. I know how much becoming an optimist has helped me in the past few years.

As always I look forward to your comments, and if you like this post, please share on SM.



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Hi, I'm Amanda

My passion is helping 50+ women live their best life possible and follow their dreams.

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